What can I say about 2017 that millions of people have not already said? Well, in all honesty, ALOT! 2017 has been good to me. Don't get me wrong, we've had our share of ups and downs, but in the end, there is nothing really left for me to say except "Thanks for the lessons, you beautiful Monster!".
Below, I share some of the memorable events from this year. I hope you find them as thought provoking as I did.
January brought me a new president. Mr. Trump has given America's most racist citizens the freedom to "do them". He's also given the disenfranchised the opportunity to take back their power. We now have the opportunity to fight for rights many thought they forgot. Yes, we said "Goodbye" to one of America's GREATEST Presidents of All Time. But, we all said "Hello" to the possibilities that a new President bring with him. Make no mistake, he has not delivered... NOT AT ALL. He has not unlocked the potential associated with his position. He has caused all America to panic in ways before unheard.
March brought me the Praxis English test. As the breadwinner FOR MY ENTIRE FAMILY, the thought of not being able to provide for them was insane. Not providing for everyone is the worst feeling ever.I passed the Praxis II on the FIRST TRY. This test was the only thing that was stopping me from becoming a licensed teacher in Maryland. LOL, I RAN to North Ave. to have them submit my paperwork. Having my new 5-year certification in hand was one of the greatest feelings in the world. It ensured that no matter what happens with my "dream careers", I will always be able to provide for my family. I will always have "career insurance", which is as important as having life insurance.
June brought his dreaded friend: SURPLUS. I have been with BCPSS for 4 years and this is the first time I have ever experienced anything like SURPLUS. I mean, the conversation with my former principal was disheartening, to say the least. I thought I was doing a good job. I thought I was an important member of the school community. To be surplused from nowhere was a huge blow to my self-esteem and a trigger for a minor depressive episode. Make no mistake though, the WORST thing about surplus, is the location of the transfer fair. Our school board chose the largest two schools in the district as the site for the transfer fair. One of the hottest days of the calendar year, 350 people in one BIG ASS room with NO AIR CONDITIONING. I was so hot and exhausted from standing in the line that I was almost willing to take the first job offered. I didn't, though. The whole experience is demoralizing and the classic "sing for your supper" exercise. Luckily, I accepted an offer from my current employer, a school that I'd never heard of, that I'd never even seen.
July brought depression... and a move. July was rough. I was still hurting from the surplus at my last school in June. It was hurtful. The minor depression was heightened by my July realization that I was 350 lbs. That's the heaviest I have ever been. The depression was real... really real. I didn't leave the bed for 3 days. I am not sure if my depression was about my job or my health. I mean, I have always been fat; ever since my first visit from the Hormone Monster. That combined with my bad lungs has added to my lack of control over my weight. Fighting so hard to "secure the bag", only to be removed from my workplace was hurtful. So, let's say it was a combination of BOTH events. On top of that, I had to move by August 1st or pay an increase in rent of more than $350... for the SAME OLD APARTMENT!!! Whatever was going on with me mentally had to take a backseat. I may still have some residual resentment left from the untreated depression; but, that's what "old age therapy" is for, right???
September brought the new school: So, after crawling my way out of the darkness, it was time to start at a new school. It was a huge adjustment for me and for my family... especially working in Downtown Baltimore. I am glad about it. Change is good. Change, is real good. Moving to a new school has been hard, but productive. I have even managed to make two work friends: one in my content area and one on my floor. I think it's because I am super nice to everyone I meet. My friends call it "skipping thought a meadow", but I call it "basic human compassion". It helps me cope with many of my childhood traumas, so I keep it around.
November brought the hopes of a Black Princess. Need I say more??? Rachael Meghan Markel is slated to marry HRH Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales in May. As World News goes, it is one of the most boss things to happen all year. Black women, even half-black (which is black, btw) have ALWAYS been ROYALTY in my book. There is magic in our melanin. The Royal Wedding is one more chance for the WORLD-at-LARGE to understand how magical we are. Plus, we have to be super special to be in-line to create a "Black British Princess", right?? I mean, what could be more magical than a Black British Princess????
December brought the magazines. About 8 days ago, God gave me the rest of the details needed to create my own magazine publications. I have been thinking about it for a while, but the finite details were lost in the mashup that is known as my brain. The finite points were still swimming around my brain. God revealed to me what I need to get it accomplished. Now that he has given me most of those details, it looks like I should be able to publish the magazine in the second half of 2018. However, the inspiration for the magazines... the finishing inspiration came during the year 2017.
This year has taken alot from me, but she has given me so much more than she took and in the end, that's what matters the most.
Now, how I initially got the inspiration for the magazines... well, that's a conversation for a different blog...